WHERE ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE THE VIBES LIKE? At home. I've only seen them twice, they're pretty good
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Space Dust
WHAT WAS THE LAST VIDEO YOU RENTED? Toxic Avenger Balleater (famous bootleg chainsaw film)
WHAT WAS THE LAST GOOD BOOK YOU READ? Dice Man - Luke Reinhart 201 Great Sausages
FAVE POLITICAL FIGURES Citizen Smith, Clint Eastwood
WHAT TV SHOWS DO YOU TRY NOT TO MISS? Whicker's World, Bullseye
WHICH PUBLIC FIGURE DO YOU MOST DESPISE? "Your captain, Lionel Blair"
WHAT WERE YOU GOOD AT AT ART SCHOOL? Top Trumps
FAVE TV SHOWS OF YESTERYEAR Magpie, Logan's Run, Babapapa, Six Million Dollar Man, Space 1999, Crackerjack
MOST EMBARRASSING RECORDS IN YOUR COLLECTION 'What You're Proposing' - Status Quo, 'England World Cup Theme,' 'Can Can' - Bad Manners
NAME SOME GOOD THINGS ABOUT WIGAN Verve FC (Verve are chairmen of the local football team); diving off the pier into the cool blue waters of the River Douglas, Bernie Mc
FAVE SCI-FI MOVIES Barbarella, Phantom Toll Booth, Space Invaders
FAVE PUNK ROCK RECORDS 'Pretty Vacant' - Sex Pistols, 'F-ed Up And Pretty' - The Snotts (seminal Wigan punk outfit)
FAVE HISTORICAL CHARACTERS Pete Marsh (Bog Man), Rasputin
FAVE BOARD GAMES Yahtzee, Twister (aroused and naked)
WORST LYRIC YOU'VE EVER HEARD "Too much love will kill you in the end"
WHO'S OVERRATED? Pamella Bordes, Sexy Sadie
WHO'S UNDERRATED? Christ, Elvis, George Best, The Snotts
WHO'S SEXY Jane The Snake, Beautiful Bobby, Flying Brian
WHAT SCARES YOU? Rats, Bobby Charlton, Richard Nixon
WHAT BORES YOU? Armchair politics, wine gums
CAN YOU QUOTE A LINE OF POETRY? "Confusion would be my epitaph/As I walked a cracked and broken path." Pete Sinfield of 5 Star and King Crimson fame
PUNCHLINE TO FAVOURITE JOKE "Sausages 30 mph, plop, plop, plop"
WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE TO? My bed
FAVE TAKEAWAY Chinese, Italian
NAME A RECORD THAT CAN MAKE YOU CRY 'Love Theme' -love Unlimited Orchestra
WHEN WERE YOU LAST DRUNK? Tonight - (Handwriting son trails off down the page)
WHAT WAS THE LAST DREAM YOU CAN REMEMBER? I was trapped in a large maggot-infested room, a foot rat was making love t Richard Nixon, Bobby Charlton appeared with a full head of hair, claiming be Vidal Sassoon
THREE RECORDS GUARANTEED TO MAKE TO DANCE 'Wanna Take You Higher' Sly; 'Machine Gun - 'Commodores; 'Yo Yo' - Rose Royce
WHAT CAN YOU COOK? lightly chipped potatoes, garnished with a fine malt vinegar and a pinch of salt
LAST GREAT RECORD YOU HEARD 'Aren't You Glad' - Spirit
FAVE RADIO PROGRAMME Bird Sounds on 100.3 FM (test transmission for Classic FM)
WORST JOB YOU EVER HAD Hairdresser, swimming pool maintenance
MOTTO "Only a fool breaks the 2 second rule"
- NME, October 17, 1992, Photo by Steve Double
- Kudos: Jeff Birgbauer